The Lord has been born today!

Enjoy the holidays!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to one of all! Jesus is the reason for the season! Enjoy listening to our pride and joy!

Our merry parol (lantern)!

Merry Christmas to Me

I am wishing...

I am hopeful...

Yes, I still believe in Santa Claus!

The cup from whence I drink my soylatte...

This barstool is for sale!

2 barstools on sale for half the price of 1! Interested?

Post comment here...
Thanks

Wedding Bliss Wishes

We just came from a wedding party where my youngest daughter walked as flower girl for the first time in her ample life...we were there almost the whole day! Started at 2 pm (of course we were there at 1:30 pm, right?), the mass went on for an hour and a half (thanks to the priest, he kept us awake the whole time...he actually was fun!), picture taking, then off to the hotel...

The hotel wasn't ready for the big crowd at 4, so we had to wait an hour to get in the grand ballroom. Well, it was all worth the wait (and hunger). There was an hors d' veors buffet that almost filled us up in lieu of dinner. Oh my, lots of good stuff, including fruits and veggie dips. My kids loved the chicken potstickers while I enjoyed the calamari. My hubby, he enjoyed the open bar! Yes, order all you want til your drunk!

Then, salad came, yummy cesears salad at that! Then, the main meal--- a combination dinner plate of filet mignon beef and salmon with shrimp & cream. Of course, grilled dill veggies on the side. Fruit punch was overflowing too so the kids got their kick too! The evening was capped by yummy cake and a long night of dancing! My kids were snoring by the time we got home!

Roxanne & Deni, may you have wonderful years of wedded bliss! Thanks for a great day!

What we should do...

I am quoting this from another blogger... thanks for the inspiration.

"Seek the company of people who speak kindly (and even incredibly) of others, who encourage rather than discourage, who boost you rather than push you down. Seek those who will magnify the good in you."

From Maya Angelou

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
a youth she's content to leave behind...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward
to retelling it in her old age...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a set of screwdrivers,
a cordless drill, and
a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
one friend who always makes her laugh...
and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
a good piece of furniture
not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
eight matching plates,
wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job, break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
whom she can trust, whom she can't, and
why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table.. .
or a charming Inn in the woods... when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a year...

I'm just a happy girl, that's all...

Blog

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Happy Mother's Day

I had a great mother's day yesterday. I've been celebrating since last week. My brother and her girlfriend sent me beautiful tulips and chocolates. The flowers are abloom now and that's just how my feelings are too! You've both made the distance closer between us. My kids have been bringing home their school projects this past week for Mom's day, and it's just fun reading about what your kids think of you as a Mom! Little sweet things go a long way for us Moms. What is sweeter though is the "little red" surprise I received from my husband and my little ones (I like it when they gang up on me on things like these!)

We started celebrating on Saturday by Racing for the Cure! We participated in the Komen Walk in Sacramento (yes, this is our 4th year). Sunday, we spent with the whole family, including my in-laws. We all went to church, where they paid tribute to the exceptional love that mothers give to their children and their families. It was a heartwarming experience seeing all the other moms and knowing that there are other moms who experience the same challenges and triumphs that I do.

Mother's day of course made me remember my own Mommy. Lola Mommy that is.
Here's my stump. I can go on and on and on but I will probably keep going back to a previous post which I think already captures the legacy of my Mom.
http://joyslatte.blogspot.com/2007/02/message-for-mommy.html

I love you Mommy, happy mother's day! You continue to inspire me to be the mother I know you desired me to be to your grandchildren.

Mobile blogging

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Gift of Honor

Today is Mommy's birthday.

What a fitting tribute to her as I received a performance award at work today.
I was given a superior team achievement recognition with the highest possible rating.
I was recognized for not only exceeding my goals last year but more importantly,
I was part of the President's pool.

Mommy, as you have always expected of your children, I am indeed, the "best of the best".

I wouldn't have achieved this if it weren't for you, you have shaped me into who I am today. I love you Mommy, happy happy birthday!

My Mom

Nena to her siblings and cousins...
Nens to her closest friends...
Tita Nens to her nephews and nieces...
Ka Nena to her ka- Ala- eh ...
Mrs. Garrido to her students...
Mother to her business associates...
Lola Mommy to her grandchildren...

That was my Mom. Endeared by many...
Magdalena or Nena, that was her real name, to her family she revealed her true being, strong and responsible.
Nens, always sweet and thoughtful to her closest friends, she was there for them, through thick and thin, through the best and worst of times.
Tita Nens, she was like a second mother to the rest of the family. Someone you can turn to at times when there is just no one else.
Ka Nena, she treated her childhood friends who she grew up in the province like her very own sisters. She would always go back to her hometown even just to share a little bit of the comforts she has and more. She continued to give back to the community in more ways than one.
Mrs. Garrido, she was recognized by her students as a true mentor. She inspired them to achieve their best and through time remained to be their friend even after most of them had their own families.
Mother, anywhere she went, she'd establish relationships that go even beyond business. Her business colleagues deferred to her for advise even for their personal lives. Indeed, she was a mother to all.
I know though that what Mommy cherished most of all was being called Lola Mommy.


We remember you Mommy on your birthday! To everyone whose lives my Mom touched, I hope that you will continue to live the legacy she left you and that in knowing her made a difference in your life.

More from my budding poet

Daddy was with our budding poet on their way to school when she sees a flock of birds ....

"Pigeons are gray, Pigeons are gray
Pigeons are loving and gray.

Pigeons are gray, Pigeons are gray
If someone doesn't love pigeons,
the pigeons go away! That's my Mommy!"

Of course, my daughter knows Mommy so well.... Mommy doesn't like dogs, cats and most of all, birds!

My Budding Poet

My youngest daughter is thrilled whenever she comes up with words that turn out to rhyme with each other. "The sun is shining bright, there's so much light!" then she'll say, "Mommy, bright and light rhyme!" Another time she said, "Hurry up Ate (big sister), I don't want to be late! We need to go to our playdate!" With big eyes, she says, "Mommy, late and date rhyme!"

This morning she came out of the shower and exclaimed (with arms flying in the air),

"A world filled with candies,
A world filled with sweets,
A world filled with popsicles,
A world filled with candy bars....
I am the Queen of the candy castle!"

Daddy and Ate were in the bathroom with her and they were laughing their hearts out!!!

Remembering Mommy on Her Birthday

April 17 is Mommy's birthday. All these years, we've looked forward to this day to honor her and thank her for everything she does for us. When I was younger, my brother and I would look forward to this day because we know she will cook OUR favorite dishes, she'll cook so much to last until dinner time for sure! She'll cook my favorite spaghetti, my brother's favorite apritada, and my dad's favorite mechado (cooked in her own unique way). Of course, there will be some fish and salad also to complete the meal. Her best friend would come early in the morning so that they can spend their breakfast together over their favorite cup of Batangas coffee. All through the day, her co-teachers would come to spend the day with her, her brothers, sisters, and our other relatives with their families would come too to greet her and just pay tribute to her just because she's been a supporter of theirs throughout the year. Her business colleagues would call or even come to spend even a little time to be with her. That's just how she was, she's affected so many people around her that they take this opportunity to say thank you and just make her day as happy as can be.

When I got older and started having a job, I'd look forward to this day so that I can take Mommy out to lunch or dinner to a place of her choice. Usually, she'll still end up asking us where we want to go as we know all the "new" places in town. Even when I eventually moved to the States and had a family of my own, we looked forward to this day to send her flowers or goodies and she'll be so excited to receive and open. I know that the biggest gift I could've probably given her anyway were her grandchildren, so more recently I created albums with their pictures and activities all through the year. She loved receiving those, I know.

When Mommy passed on to a more serene life.... I was unsure of what to feel when her birthdate comes.... now that it's only a few days before that, I just would like to think of the little things that I would have shared with her if she were here with us. I know she'll be happy to know that my brother will spend a few days with us once more on vacation. I know that she, more than anyone else would be so proud because my brother continues to succeed in his career. He recently just got a promotion and is on his way to an all-expense paid company trip to Canada. Mommy would be so proud to learn that my youngest daughter who is only 4, is now reading and is impressing her teachers in school, just because she is such a fast learner. Oh, and my youngest, she takes on her grandma in all her priorities; cleanliness, structure, and beauty. Oh yes!
Mommy I'm sure is so proud of her eldest apo (grandchild) too, in all her achievements in school at her very young age, her singing, her quick thinking, and her sweetness all together. Lola Mommy would be so proud. Now all of these, I offer to you Mommy. As you look down upon us from the heavens, we greet you happy birthday! Lastly,we know you're happy there now knowing that Daddy is spending the best of his days with his grandchildren in the manner that you would've wanted to yourself. Happy birthday Mommy!

Parents Wanted

POSITION: Mom, Mommy, Mama, MaDad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in anoften chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION: None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required unfortunately.On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis..WAGES AND COMPENSATION:Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.. Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciatedfor the fabulous job they do ... or forward with loveto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

** AND A FOOTNOTE--- THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! ** If you are fortunate enough you will become grandparents!

Happy Mom

I feel so good today! Been smiling all afternoon. I remembered from the past 2 years that January is when my daughter's school provides parents the progress reports of their kids. We just got my youngest daughter's progress report, she is in preschool and is age-ok for kindergarten already, I mean would be age-ok by the Fall semester.


Here in California, most schools allow children to go to kindergarten as long as they meet the age requirement --- they have to be at least 5 by December 15 of the academic year on which they plan to enter kindergarten. Since we're on the topic, my eldest daughter missed that cut-off the other year, so by the time she entered kindergarten (last year September) she was already 5 1/2 (she wasn't 5 'til January of last year). She was on the older group. However, we are very proud parents (may I say) because about 6 weeks into kindergarten, she was recognized by her teachers, the rest of her kindergarten class, and no less than their principal for being able to read like a grade 2 student, and for having been able to pass all the tests given to her (to see if she meets curriculum) ---- she was promoted to 1st grade. So now, my daughter who just turned 6, is in 1st grade. Now she's in the younger group.


Going back to my preschooler, I've been worried because she's only been going to school 2 days a week. I felt as though I was short-changing her because I felt that I haven't been pounding academics on her. Well, it's not as easy when you're trying to manage a household, dishes, laundry, food, etc etc while trying to be an A-parent. Another thing is that, she's been more on the independent side too. She can do things on her own, she can play with her kitchen and dolls and be happy. She's more on the creative side and doesn't have the patience to go through math and books, as consistently as you would want her to. Well, that was before she turned 4 though. Lately, I've been noticing that she already knows all her letters (upper and lower case), and knows how to sound them out already. She can count way more than 30s. Guess what we've found out too? She is reading. At least beginning to. She's totally hooked on Hooked on Phonics. Yes, she is starting to read and would even ask you to do it with her. She goes by her schedule you know. Yes, this is my OC daughter, my preschooler who has been recommended for kindergarten based on her progress report.


Hooked on Phonics? I swear by this method. At least for me it's worked. My eldest daughter showed me she was ready to read because she was even reading before I started her on HOP. She was sight reading. The Alpha mom in me of course went through all the materials in what would be the best method, etc etc etc. I used HOP to keep her back onto the phonetic method. They use Zoo Phonics in school and both worked well together. Yes, it works, my youngest daughter who is now 4 is reading --- pat, mat, cat, wag, men, ten, etc etc etc.

I'm happy because my daughters are achieving well in school and at home. The youngest one as I've already mentioned, was recommended for kindergarten in the fall, while the older one continues to receive praises in 1st grade. She is in the top of her class and is showing skills in math and spelling. They remind us to pray before eating and before sleeping. They are respectful of their elders (they have lolos and lolas around them) and they know that when we reprimand and even when they are sent to time-out, it is because we love them and we want them to learn.

Oh well, parenting is indeed a 24/7 job, a job well-loved of course. I won't say we are a perfect family, oh my(*$%@!), that is so far from happening. We have melt-downs everyday, impatience and stress, there are some parts of our house that are always in disarray, we continually lecture and sometimes let things get out-of-hand, the kids cry and sometimes fight too, but.... at the end of the day, we try to make it a point to kiss and make up and remind each other of how much we love each other. This makes us all happy.

Application to Date My Daughter

I saw this on a blog called, "The World According to Manang" --- like her, I am troubled by the thought of my girls going on dates when that time comes. I'm pretty sure their Dad is more than troubled... there probably isn't even a term yet to describe how he feels, just even thinking about it. The legal side of me convinced me then to have this written up now, so that when "that time" comes along... I know exactly where to pull it from.

Here you go.

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.
NAME _____________________________ DATE OF BIRTH ____________HEIGHT ________ WEIGHT _________ IQ __________ GPA _________SOCIAL SECURITY #______________ DRIVERS LICENSE #____________BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS_____________________________________________________
CITY/STATE ____________________________ ZIP______
Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain: _____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
Number of years they have been married _________________________________
If less than your age, explain:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
ACCESSORIES SECTION:A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No p
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring? (IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)

ESSAY SECTION: In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
REFERENCES SECTION:Church you attend ___________________________________________________
How often you attend ________________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your: father? ____________ mother? ___________ pastor? ____________
SHORT-ANSWER SECTION: Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
____________________________________________________________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:____________________________________________________________________
C: A woman's place is in the: ____________________________________________________________________
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:____________________________________________________________________
E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ____________________________________________________________________
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:____________________________________________________________________
G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANTI TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, and RED HOT POKERS__________________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!) _______________________________
________________________________Mother's Signature
________________________________Father's Signature
________________________________Pastor/Priest/ Rabbi
________________________________State Representative/Congressman
Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might want to watch your back) . To prepare yourself, start studying Daddy's Rules for Dating.Daddy's Rules for Dating Your dad's rules for your boyfriend (or for you if you're a guy):Rule One:If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're surely not picking anything up. Rule Two:You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them. Rule Three:I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. Rule Four:I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.Rule Five:It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: 'early.' Rule Six:I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. Rule Seven:As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car? Rule Eight:The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing or holding hands. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies that feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better. Rule Nine:Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me. Rule Ten:Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

I hope to visit this place this year!

http://www.ironstonevineyards.com/

I am in LOVE!

New Skin?

I have mentioned in the past how "OC" my daughter is turning to be... she's so hollywood at times and too often she just wants everything to be "perfect". She wants her placemat fixed, meaning, facing her and in a straight line. She needs to have a matching pair of utensils. Don't ever try calming her when her water drips and gets her wet, she'll say, "the water spilled Mommy!!!" (like it shouldn't have spilt in the first place). Don't argue with her when she's doing her crafts or even homework, she hates erasures and mistakes! Last weekend, her little fingers accidentally got caught in her cousin's cabinet doors. She was strong as she could be and we were all wondering why she didn't cry. Well, she had better concerns than pain I guess... the question she asked was "Mommy, when my ou-wee gets better, will my finger have new skin?" Well, when you're OC, I guess, vanity just comes naturally.

I'm a happy girl, I got this for my birthday last year! Kate Spade, london kieran --- it just goes well with anything!

First time I used it, we went to Castello di Amorosa in Calistoga, California. It's a new winery-castle in the Napa Valley by the acclaimed V. Sattui family. They have really good wines too, made in the true French tradition.

I've only used it a couple times, it's winter and it's been raining pretty much too. No way will I get it wet!

I just oh, love it!

Tory oh Tory!

Any advise where I can find this on sale?

Got a real good deal on this one!!!

Was shopping for my sis-in-law's gift on the weekend... came across this at the Loft (Ann Taylor), couldn't resist such a good deal! Sorry girls but it's not even available online anymore. High price --- $179, good deal --- $41 +tax!Happy new year, I should say!!!

Things I want soon ....

Discipline Mistakes Most Parents Make

Thought I'd share a reading I had.... it's good to be reminded at times!

By Ginger Plowman
Do you find yourself threatening, repeating your instructions, or raising your voice in an attempt to get your children to obey? Are you frustrated because nothing seems to work? It could be that faulty child-training methods have snared your line of thinking.
A quick bribe or mild threat looks appealing to a parent’s appetite for gaining control of a child, especially in a hurried situation. So, we take the bait -- hook, line, and sinker. It’s not until later that we realize we’re caught in a tangled net of ineffective parenting.
We must remember that our goal is not merely to get children to outwardly obey, but to reach their hearts with the gospel of Christ. When we adopt faulty child-training methods that aim for behavior modification only, we miss the issues of the heart and the point of biblical discipline. Here are a few pitfalls that we must guard against:

Bribing. To bribe a child into obeying is to motivate him wrongly. Bribing encourages children in selfishness, as their motive for obeying is personal gain. Bribing sounds like, “If you clean your room you can rent a movie tonight” or “If you don’t misbehave in the grocery store, you can pick out candy at the check out counter.” Children should be taught to obey because it is right and because it pleases God, not to get a reward. The Bible says, “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord” (Colossians 3:20). We should simply state the standard and follow through with consequences when that standard is violated.

Counting to Three. As we train our children to obey us we are ultimately training them to obey Jesus. Do we want our children to obey God the first time, the second time, or the third time? When we count to three, we cause our children to get into the habit of delayed obedience. Delayed obedience is disobedience. Counting to three encourages them to put off obeying until absolutely necessary. We want our children to view obedience as their best option, not a choice that is put off until the last minute.

Threatening. This is one of my biggest struggles in parenting. I’m so tempted to say, “If you don’t do this, then these will be the consequences.” Moms, this is how we get ourselves in a pickle. If we tell them there will be a consequence then by golly there better be one. Otherwise, we might cause them to question our word. A woman of integrity says what she means and means what she says. If we cry wolf too many times, we will eventually lose our effectiveness as well as the respect of our children. Our children need to have confidence that our word is our word.

Appealing to their emotions. Parents often try to appeal to the emotions of the child by making them feel guilty. “After all I do for you, this is how you repay me,” moans the parent with a sad face. It’s easy for us to feel sorry for ourselves and think that our children “owe us” obedience. However, we want our children’s motives for obeying to come from a heart to please God not from a parent inflicted guilt trip.

Reasoning with small children. Parents should avoid trying to talk their children into obedience. Reasoning with small children erases the line of authority between the parent and the child, and places the parent in a position of being out smarted! We should avoid statements like, “Are you ready to go to bed?” and “Don’t you think you should brush your teeth?” and “Why don’t we pick up the toys before lunch?”
Asking the child if he would like to do something places him on a peer level with the parent. The parent who tries to reason with her child usually ends up frustrated, and the child usually ends up disrespecting her authority by arguing rather than obeying. Sometimes I wonder if it might be beneficial for us to play a recording of “I am the parent, I am the parent, I am the parent” over and over in order to brainwash us into acting like it!

Repeating or going back on instructions. In studying some the most of admirable and successful generals of our country, I have found that they all had one thing in common: they were certain of their commands before they issued them. Soldiers do not respect or respond well to an uncertain and inconsistent leader. Paul said it best in 1 Corinthians 14:8, “For if the trumpet makes an uncertain sound, who will prepare for battle?” (NKJ) Likewise, when Mom issues half-hearted commands to her children and doesn’t require her children to follow through immediately, she sends them mixed signals. Not only will this sort of leadership earn Mom the “most wishy-washy in command” medal, but it will also cause her children to question their own positions in the family. They will become uncertain of when and how to respond to Mom’s instructions. This can lead to insecure children who are unsure of their own actions. However, when we lead our “troops” with confidence, they find security and stability in their call to obedience.
We should never issue a warning or command without following it through. This rule of thumb requires that we think before we speak. In Matthew we are told, “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one” (Matthew 5:37). We should try not to say “yes” or “no” to something until we are sure that it is our definite answer. According to Proverbs 15:28 it is biblical that we think before speaking: “The heart of the righteous weighs its answers.” Let us weigh our answers, give confident commands, and raise up a mighty army for the Lord!
Effective Parenting
The first step toward effective parenting is to realize that biblical obedience is complete, immediate, and evinced with joy. You might teach this concept to younger children by explaining that obedience is all the way, right away, and with a joyful heart.
The second step toward effective parenting is to expect nothing less than biblical obedience. Don’t be wishy-washy or you’ll raise wishy-washy children who have a hard time determining when to and when not to submit to authority. Determine the “family rules” and establish a strong family identity in Christ by expecting your children to obey authority.
The third step toward effective parenting is to faithfully administer consequences when children disobey. When disobedience is met with consequences children learn the law of the harvest. They learn that God has built the principle of sowing and reaping into their worlds. While administering consequences is not pleasant, it’s a prerequisite for peace: “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11).
By avoiding the snares of ineffective parenting and adhering to God’s design for discipline, we move past the frustrations of not knowing how to handle issues of disobedience and into a confident, well-balanced approach to raising our children.