How to Nurture a Whiny Child

I read this article from Wonder Time --- how timely, I'm beginning to experience the Whining Years and I really like Dr Crowder's recommendation. I'll try this at home and see how it goes...

Your child winds up from a whimper, to a plea, to a whine — the sound surest to make a parent crack. A psychologist, a day care provider, and a mother offer a guided tour of the whine country.

Carolyn Crowder, Ph.D., co-author of Whining: 3 Steps to Stopping It Before the Tears and Tantrums Start, Tucson, Arizona:
"My three steps to stop whining are: consequences, assertiveness, and contribution. Consequences means whining gets a consistent no; even if whining in a restaurant means you get up and leave. Assertiveness means calmly telling a child what you expect from them; saying you know they can do better, which shows respect. Contribution means giving a child tasks that let him feel like he's making an important contribution to the family. All kids want to feel like they belong and have a say in the family. Feeling like you belong is an antidote to misbehavior."

Audra Jung, lead teacher, Seward Child-Care Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota:"One thing I see parents doing the right way is reflecting the emotion that the child is having. Validating their emotions, paying attention, and saying, 'I can see you're angry because you thought you were going to have more blocks,' is in effect saying, 'I can see you have something to tell me.' That's when you teach them the skills they need to communicate. Even 3-year-olds can have control of their emotions, but it takes coaching. They're not trying to make you mad: Some need is not being met. The wrong thing is to let the whining trigger you — that just shows that the parent is unable to deal with the situation."

Julie Comes, mother of Maddie, 10, Mikayla, 7, and Collin, 4, Lewistown, Montana:"When Collin's sisters are at school and we're alone, and I have to do something, then the whining comes — so we have a place where he goes and sits until he can talk to me in a 4-year-old voice. This works because he just likes to be included. Or I'll encourage him to use different voices. I'll say, 'Can I hear that in a monster voice?' With any of the kids, I try to redirect them from why they're frustrated. I'll make a funny face, and they'll laugh. Distract and refocus. Or if they stomp off, I'll say, 'Stomp for five more minutes.' Or if one of the girls sighs, I say, 'Sigh 20 times.' It ends up in a giggle fit."

Cleansing Me

Days 1 & 2 --- No meat, no dairy (thank you Soy, I lasted today), lots of juice, fruits and vegetables, 1 qt of distilled water, detox/cleanse/fiber capsules (morning and evening)

Days 3, 4 & 5 --- start lemon juice mixture (1 1/2 cups lemon juice, 1/3 - 1/2 cup maple syrup (grade B at Trader Joe's is the best for me, no solid foods (unless you feel really bad and nauseous or have a terrible headache, a banana or apple bites would be helpful)

Days 6 & 7 --- continue the capsules until gone, stop lemon mixture, start eating raw veggies and fruits, add whole grains to diet

Days 8 & 9 --- add yogurt & cottage cheese and small portions of fish, poultry or egg

Days 10 & onwards --- eat a sensible diet so you can live healthy and happy

Today I'm on Day 6 and I couldn't have imagined I could go through Days 3-5. The lowest point was Day 3. My body experienced a healing crisis (described in the website) I had headaches, my legs were crampy, I was irritable but managed to get through the day.... Day 4 was better but Day 5 was the best. My body got the hang of it and I guess I was so looking forward to today so I'm thinking a lot of it was in the mind! Bananas, apples and sugarless gum, helped me get through it and I survived! Survived and lost around 6-7 lbs. How great is that????!!!! Even if it's all water, it's still a good feeling and fact!

At lunch, I had to go to a birthday lunch with my team at work and we ate at Island's. I went ahead and looked up the menu even before going so I wouldn't be enticed to have any of the yummy food. Was so glad to find their version of Asian salad. I had that with my sesame dressing and the chicken on the side (more like aside since I really didn't eat the chicken and just had a little of the dressing)! YES, it was yummy!

The Change I've Been Waiting For

I decided that if I was meaning to change something in my life, the only person who can actually make that change would be no other but --- ME.

I've been telling myself that I would change my eating habits and go back to what I've actually started in 1998. Well, almost 10 years now and when I moved to the US in 1999, a year after and I was back to eating the not-so-good for me stuff. For at least a year, I turned myself into a semi-vegetarian person and I lost weight, felt good, but then that all went away. Recently, I haven't been feeling good, I felt that I've gained so much weight and have not been healthy at all. Gradually, since I had kids I've always wanted to start them fresh, providing healthy alternatives all the time. But I thought, I cannot preach what I don't practice, so I really have to work on something so that I can do this change. Like I said, I've been gradually shifting our kitchen into a healthier perspective. My kids drink non-RBST organic milk, they drink soy chocolate, soy cheese, organic fruits and vegetables, minimally processed turkey sausages, etc. They love carrots, brocolli, cucumber, and fruits! We use organic seasoning, sea salt, soymilk, olive or canola oil, whole grain bread, brown rice and lots of fruits and veggies all the time. So, what else do I need to change. A LOT.

So, I embarked on this Cleansing/Detox program courtesy of Kyle O'Hara http://69.227.251.98/maintainyouth/products/detox.jsp
The concept is cleansing through juicing and detox/cleansing/fiber pills. It's a 3-day no-eating program but the routine takes you about 10 days until you can live a healthier yet fuller lifestyle.

My very own Ipanemas are coming soon! Can't wait!

At least we'll have something in common....