Jumbled Emotions

I'm disoriented. Totally excited. Getting sentimental. Nearing nervousness. Happy as can be. All my emotions are jumbled as you can see. Well, maybe you really can't see. It's all been inside me. Inside me that's why others might find me disoriented at times. Yes, I've been excited, sentimental, nervous and happy all at the same time! My parents are coming, that's probably why. Come to think of it, a new phase in our lives will be starting. I've been waiting for this moment. My parent's have been waiting for this moment too. Even my kids and my dear husband have been waiting for this moment too. So I guess, you really can't help but have a mix of emotions.

You see, we've been living apart for almost 7 years now. I've been back home (to my hometown) only 2 times, the longest of which was for 4 weeks. Vacation mode is different from "living together". Before, they ran the house. They had their rules. This time, it's my home. Our home, of course. But I wonder though how it will be since this time, I make the house rules. They've been accustomed to their way of living while I have been used to my way of running the house too. The anticipation is killing me.

But I love and am excited about the idea. It's time that they be near and accessible to me. The only way though is for them to stay and live with "my" family. I'm excited for my kids. They will have the opportunity to grow up with my parents. My parents to whom I attribute maybe what I am today. At the same time, my parents (both in their senior years) will have the opportunity to spend their golden years in the company of their grandchildren. They say that the grandchild's love is so much different from the "love" given by your own child. I know for sure that the grandparent's love for their "apo" (grandchild) is definitely much more different itself.

Additionally, because of the fact that I attribute a whole lot of what I am to them, this will be the perfect opportunity for me to give back to my parents. To care for them and look after their welfare first hand is of a much grander scale than just sending them gifts and money when they need it (and when I have it).

Most of all, it will be my husband's & my chance to reconnect with my parents. Yes, they'll see right before their very eyes how my husband has transformed me into a much more responsible (let's see about this) person. Maybe not as much as he is, but at least more responsible now than I was when I was in my parent's turf. They'll see me as a Mom, a privilege should I say and a blessing being one. I will be doubly blessed now that I will have my parents be there right by me as I guide my children towards maturity!

Yup, I'm very excited!!!!