since my mom passed, everything's just been kind of plain
i don't even know if i've gone through the grieving stage
or am i just entering into
more and more i feel her absence whenever certain things happen around me
she used to be my punching bag of sorts...
whenever i've had some disagreements with my other half
i'd call her, even just to let out steam
i'd chat with her, if only to migrate my mind into other realities
or, i'd think about her to try and see how she would've handled the same situation...
with my kids, when i'm not sure on how to deal with them, i'd ask her
or even just to brag about something they've done that's impressive
or even just to share their "growing up"
or mainly, just to laugh with her about the crazy things they do
i guess, i'm really just starting to miss my mom
and i won't be surprised if this goes on and on and on....
here are some lines to a song that makes me remember my
mom all the more...but i love it because it does make my
memory of her alive in me...
"when i am down and, oh my soul, so weary
when troubles come and my heart burdened be
then, i am still and wait here in the silence
until you come and sit a while with me
you raise me up, so i can stand on mountains
you raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
i am strong, when i am on your shoulders
you raise me up... to more than i can be"
i know i can move on, as mommy will always raise me up
to more than i can be. i love you Mommy!