POSITION: Mom, Mommy, Mama, MaDad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in anoften chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES:The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION: None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required unfortunately.On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis..WAGES AND COMPENSATION:Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS:While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.. Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciatedfor the fabulous job they do ... or forward with loveto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
** AND A FOOTNOTE--- THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! ** If you are fortunate enough you will become grandparents!
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Happy Mom
I feel so good today! Been smiling all afternoon. I remembered from the past 2 years that January is when my daughter's school provides parents the progress reports of their kids. We just got my youngest daughter's progress report, she is in preschool and is age-ok for kindergarten already, I mean would be age-ok by the Fall semester.
Here in California, most schools allow children to go to kindergarten as long as they meet the age requirement --- they have to be at least 5 by December 15 of the academic year on which they plan to enter kindergarten. Since we're on the topic, my eldest daughter missed that cut-off the other year, so by the time she entered kindergarten (last year September) she was already 5 1/2 (she wasn't 5 'til January of last year). She was on the older group. However, we are very proud parents (may I say) because about 6 weeks into kindergarten, she was recognized by her teachers, the rest of her kindergarten class, and no less than their principal for being able to read like a grade 2 student, and for having been able to pass all the tests given to her (to see if she meets curriculum) ---- she was promoted to 1st grade. So now, my daughter who just turned 6, is in 1st grade. Now she's in the younger group.
Going back to my preschooler, I've been worried because she's only been going to school 2 days a week. I felt as though I was short-changing her because I felt that I haven't been pounding academics on her. Well, it's not as easy when you're trying to manage a household, dishes, laundry, food, etc etc while trying to be an A-parent. Another thing is that, she's been more on the independent side too. She can do things on her own, she can play with her kitchen and dolls and be happy. She's more on the creative side and doesn't have the patience to go through math and books, as consistently as you would want her to. Well, that was before she turned 4 though. Lately, I've been noticing that she already knows all her letters (upper and lower case), and knows how to sound them out already. She can count way more than 30s. Guess what we've found out too? She is reading. At least beginning to. She's totally hooked on Hooked on Phonics. Yes, she is starting to read and would even ask you to do it with her. She goes by her schedule you know. Yes, this is my OC daughter, my preschooler who has been recommended for kindergarten based on her progress report.
Hooked on Phonics? I swear by this method. At least for me it's worked. My eldest daughter showed me she was ready to read because she was even reading before I started her on HOP. She was sight reading. The Alpha mom in me of course went through all the materials in what would be the best method, etc etc etc. I used HOP to keep her back onto the phonetic method. They use Zoo Phonics in school and both worked well together. Yes, it works, my youngest daughter who is now 4 is reading --- pat, mat, cat, wag, men, ten, etc etc etc.
I'm happy because my daughters are achieving well in school and at home. The youngest one as I've already mentioned, was recommended for kindergarten in the fall, while the older one continues to receive praises in 1st grade. She is in the top of her class and is showing skills in math and spelling. They remind us to pray before eating and before sleeping. They are respectful of their elders (they have lolos and lolas around them) and they know that when we reprimand and even when they are sent to time-out, it is because we love them and we want them to learn.
Oh well, parenting is indeed a 24/7 job, a job well-loved of course. I won't say we are a perfect family, oh my(*$%@!), that is so far from happening. We have melt-downs everyday, impatience and stress, there are some parts of our house that are always in disarray, we continually lecture and sometimes let things get out-of-hand, the kids cry and sometimes fight too, but.... at the end of the day, we try to make it a point to kiss and make up and remind each other of how much we love each other. This makes us all happy.
Here in California, most schools allow children to go to kindergarten as long as they meet the age requirement --- they have to be at least 5 by December 15 of the academic year on which they plan to enter kindergarten. Since we're on the topic, my eldest daughter missed that cut-off the other year, so by the time she entered kindergarten (last year September) she was already 5 1/2 (she wasn't 5 'til January of last year). She was on the older group. However, we are very proud parents (may I say) because about 6 weeks into kindergarten, she was recognized by her teachers, the rest of her kindergarten class, and no less than their principal for being able to read like a grade 2 student, and for having been able to pass all the tests given to her (to see if she meets curriculum) ---- she was promoted to 1st grade. So now, my daughter who just turned 6, is in 1st grade. Now she's in the younger group.
Going back to my preschooler, I've been worried because she's only been going to school 2 days a week. I felt as though I was short-changing her because I felt that I haven't been pounding academics on her. Well, it's not as easy when you're trying to manage a household, dishes, laundry, food, etc etc while trying to be an A-parent. Another thing is that, she's been more on the independent side too. She can do things on her own, she can play with her kitchen and dolls and be happy. She's more on the creative side and doesn't have the patience to go through math and books, as consistently as you would want her to. Well, that was before she turned 4 though. Lately, I've been noticing that she already knows all her letters (upper and lower case), and knows how to sound them out already. She can count way more than 30s. Guess what we've found out too? She is reading. At least beginning to. She's totally hooked on Hooked on Phonics. Yes, she is starting to read and would even ask you to do it with her. She goes by her schedule you know. Yes, this is my OC daughter, my preschooler who has been recommended for kindergarten based on her progress report.
Hooked on Phonics? I swear by this method. At least for me it's worked. My eldest daughter showed me she was ready to read because she was even reading before I started her on HOP. She was sight reading. The Alpha mom in me of course went through all the materials in what would be the best method, etc etc etc. I used HOP to keep her back onto the phonetic method. They use Zoo Phonics in school and both worked well together. Yes, it works, my youngest daughter who is now 4 is reading --- pat, mat, cat, wag, men, ten, etc etc etc.
I'm happy because my daughters are achieving well in school and at home. The youngest one as I've already mentioned, was recommended for kindergarten in the fall, while the older one continues to receive praises in 1st grade. She is in the top of her class and is showing skills in math and spelling. They remind us to pray before eating and before sleeping. They are respectful of their elders (they have lolos and lolas around them) and they know that when we reprimand and even when they are sent to time-out, it is because we love them and we want them to learn.
Oh well, parenting is indeed a 24/7 job, a job well-loved of course. I won't say we are a perfect family, oh my(*$%@!), that is so far from happening. We have melt-downs everyday, impatience and stress, there are some parts of our house that are always in disarray, we continually lecture and sometimes let things get out-of-hand, the kids cry and sometimes fight too, but.... at the end of the day, we try to make it a point to kiss and make up and remind each other of how much we love each other. This makes us all happy.
Application to Date My Daughter
I saw this on a blog called, "The World According to Manang" --- like her, I am troubled by the thought of my girls going on dates when that time comes. I'm pretty sure their Dad is more than troubled... there probably isn't even a term yet to describe how he feels, just even thinking about it. The legal side of me convinced me then to have this written up now, so that when "that time" comes along... I know exactly where to pull it from.
Here you go.
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.
NAME _____________________________ DATE OF BIRTH ____________HEIGHT ________ WEIGHT _________ IQ __________ GPA _________SOCIAL SECURITY #______________ DRIVERS LICENSE #____________BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS_____________________________________________________
CITY/STATE ____________________________ ZIP______
Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain: _____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
Number of years they have been married _________________________________
If less than your age, explain:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
ACCESSORIES SECTION:A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No p
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring? (IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)
ESSAY SECTION: In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
REFERENCES SECTION:Church you attend ___________________________________________________
How often you attend ________________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your: father? ____________ mother? ___________ pastor? ____________
SHORT-ANSWER SECTION: Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
____________________________________________________________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:____________________________________________________________________
C: A woman's place is in the: ____________________________________________________________________
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:____________________________________________________________________
E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ____________________________________________________________________
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:____________________________________________________________________
G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANTI TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, and RED HOT POKERS__________________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!) _______________________________
________________________________Mother's Signature
________________________________Father's Signature
________________________________Pastor/Priest/ Rabbi
________________________________State Representative/Congressman
Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might want to watch your back) . To prepare yourself, start studying Daddy's Rules for Dating.Daddy's Rules for Dating Your dad's rules for your boyfriend (or for you if you're a guy):Rule One:If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're surely not picking anything up. Rule Two:You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them. Rule Three:I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. Rule Four:I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.Rule Five:It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: 'early.' Rule Six:I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. Rule Seven:As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car? Rule Eight:The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing or holding hands. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies that feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better. Rule Nine:Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me. Rule Ten:Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
Here you go.
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.
NAME _____________________________ DATE OF BIRTH ____________HEIGHT ________ WEIGHT _________ IQ __________ GPA _________SOCIAL SECURITY #______________ DRIVERS LICENSE #____________BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS_____________________________________________________
CITY/STATE ____________________________ ZIP______
Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain: _____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
Number of years they have been married _________________________________
If less than your age, explain:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
ACCESSORIES SECTION:A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No p
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring? (IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)
ESSAY SECTION: In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
REFERENCES SECTION:Church you attend ___________________________________________________
How often you attend ________________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your: father? ____________ mother? ___________ pastor? ____________
SHORT-ANSWER SECTION: Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
____________________________________________________________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:____________________________________________________________________
C: A woman's place is in the: ____________________________________________________________________
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:____________________________________________________________________
E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ____________________________________________________________________
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:____________________________________________________________________
G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANTI TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, and RED HOT POKERS__________________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!) _______________________________
________________________________Mother's Signature
________________________________Father's Signature
________________________________Pastor/Priest/ Rabbi
________________________________State Representative/Congressman
Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might want to watch your back) . To prepare yourself, start studying Daddy's Rules for Dating.Daddy's Rules for Dating Your dad's rules for your boyfriend (or for you if you're a guy):Rule One:If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're surely not picking anything up. Rule Two:You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them. Rule Three:I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. Rule Four:I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.Rule Five:It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: 'early.' Rule Six:I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. Rule Seven:As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car? Rule Eight:The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing or holding hands. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies that feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better. Rule Nine:Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me. Rule Ten:Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
Friday, February 01, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
New Skin?
I have mentioned in the past how "OC" my daughter is turning to be... she's so hollywood at times and too often she just wants everything to be "perfect". She wants her placemat fixed, meaning, facing her and in a straight line. She needs to have a matching pair of utensils. Don't ever try calming her when her water drips and gets her wet, she'll say, "the water spilled Mommy!!!" (like it shouldn't have spilt in the first place). Don't argue with her when she's doing her crafts or even homework, she hates erasures and mistakes! Last weekend, her little fingers accidentally got caught in her cousin's cabinet doors. She was strong as she could be and we were all wondering why she didn't cry. Well, she had better concerns than pain I guess... the question she asked was "Mommy, when my ou-wee gets better, will my finger have new skin?" Well, when you're OC, I guess, vanity just comes naturally.
I'm a happy girl, I got this for my birthday last year! Kate Spade, london kieran --- it just goes well with anything!
First time I used it, we went to Castello di Amorosa in Calistoga, California. It's a new winery-castle in the Napa Valley by the acclaimed V. Sattui family. They have really good wines too, made in the true French tradition.
I've only used it a couple times, it's winter and it's been raining pretty much too. No way will I get it wet!
I just oh, love it!
Got a real good deal on this one!!!
Was shopping for my sis-in-law's gift on the weekend... came across this at the Loft (Ann Taylor), couldn't resist such a good deal! Sorry girls but it's not even available online anymore. High price --- $179, good deal --- $41 +tax!Happy new year, I should say!!! 
Discipline Mistakes Most Parents Make
Thought I'd share a reading I had.... it's good to be reminded at times!
By Ginger Plowman
Do you find yourself threatening, repeating your instructions, or raising your voice in an attempt to get your children to obey? Are you frustrated because nothing seems to work? It could be that faulty child-training methods have snared your line of thinking.
A quick bribe or mild threat looks appealing to a parent’s appetite for gaining control of a child, especially in a hurried situation. So, we take the bait -- hook, line, and sinker. It’s not until later that we realize we’re caught in a tangled net of ineffective parenting.
We must remember that our goal is not merely to get children to outwardly obey, but to reach their hearts with the gospel of Christ. When we adopt faulty child-training methods that aim for behavior modification only, we miss the issues of the heart and the point of biblical discipline. Here are a few pitfalls that we must guard against:
Bribing. To bribe a child into obeying is to motivate him wrongly. Bribing encourages children in selfishness, as their motive for obeying is personal gain. Bribing sounds like, “If you clean your room you can rent a movie tonight” or “If you don’t misbehave in the grocery store, you can pick out candy at the check out counter.” Children should be taught to obey because it is right and because it pleases God, not to get a reward. The Bible says, “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord” (Colossians 3:20). We should simply state the standard and follow through with consequences when that standard is violated.
Counting to Three. As we train our children to obey us we are ultimately training them to obey Jesus. Do we want our children to obey God the first time, the second time, or the third time? When we count to three, we cause our children to get into the habit of delayed obedience. Delayed obedience is disobedience. Counting to three encourages them to put off obeying until absolutely necessary. We want our children to view obedience as their best option, not a choice that is put off until the last minute.
Threatening. This is one of my biggest struggles in parenting. I’m so tempted to say, “If you don’t do this, then these will be the consequences.” Moms, this is how we get ourselves in a pickle. If we tell them there will be a consequence then by golly there better be one. Otherwise, we might cause them to question our word. A woman of integrity says what she means and means what she says. If we cry wolf too many times, we will eventually lose our effectiveness as well as the respect of our children. Our children need to have confidence that our word is our word.
Appealing to their emotions. Parents often try to appeal to the emotions of the child by making them feel guilty. “After all I do for you, this is how you repay me,” moans the parent with a sad face. It’s easy for us to feel sorry for ourselves and think that our children “owe us” obedience. However, we want our children’s motives for obeying to come from a heart to please God not from a parent inflicted guilt trip.
Reasoning with small children. Parents should avoid trying to talk their children into obedience. Reasoning with small children erases the line of authority between the parent and the child, and places the parent in a position of being out smarted! We should avoid statements like, “Are you ready to go to bed?” and “Don’t you think you should brush your teeth?” and “Why don’t we pick up the toys before lunch?”
Asking the child if he would like to do something places him on a peer level with the parent. The parent who tries to reason with her child usually ends up frustrated, and the child usually ends up disrespecting her authority by arguing rather than obeying. Sometimes I wonder if it might be beneficial for us to play a recording of “I am the parent, I am the parent, I am the parent” over and over in order to brainwash us into acting like it!
Repeating or going back on instructions. In studying some the most of admirable and successful generals of our country, I have found that they all had one thing in common: they were certain of their commands before they issued them. Soldiers do not respect or respond well to an uncertain and inconsistent leader. Paul said it best in 1 Corinthians 14:8, “For if the trumpet makes an uncertain sound, who will prepare for battle?” (NKJ) Likewise, when Mom issues half-hearted commands to her children and doesn’t require her children to follow through immediately, she sends them mixed signals. Not only will this sort of leadership earn Mom the “most wishy-washy in command” medal, but it will also cause her children to question their own positions in the family. They will become uncertain of when and how to respond to Mom’s instructions. This can lead to insecure children who are unsure of their own actions. However, when we lead our “troops” with confidence, they find security and stability in their call to obedience.
We should never issue a warning or command without following it through. This rule of thumb requires that we think before we speak. In Matthew we are told, “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one” (Matthew 5:37). We should try not to say “yes” or “no” to something until we are sure that it is our definite answer. According to Proverbs 15:28 it is biblical that we think before speaking: “The heart of the righteous weighs its answers.” Let us weigh our answers, give confident commands, and raise up a mighty army for the Lord!
Effective Parenting
The first step toward effective parenting is to realize that biblical obedience is complete, immediate, and evinced with joy. You might teach this concept to younger children by explaining that obedience is all the way, right away, and with a joyful heart.
The second step toward effective parenting is to expect nothing less than biblical obedience. Don’t be wishy-washy or you’ll raise wishy-washy children who have a hard time determining when to and when not to submit to authority. Determine the “family rules” and establish a strong family identity in Christ by expecting your children to obey authority.
The third step toward effective parenting is to faithfully administer consequences when children disobey. When disobedience is met with consequences children learn the law of the harvest. They learn that God has built the principle of sowing and reaping into their worlds. While administering consequences is not pleasant, it’s a prerequisite for peace: “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11).
By avoiding the snares of ineffective parenting and adhering to God’s design for discipline, we move past the frustrations of not knowing how to handle issues of disobedience and into a confident, well-balanced approach to raising our children.
By Ginger Plowman
Do you find yourself threatening, repeating your instructions, or raising your voice in an attempt to get your children to obey? Are you frustrated because nothing seems to work? It could be that faulty child-training methods have snared your line of thinking.
A quick bribe or mild threat looks appealing to a parent’s appetite for gaining control of a child, especially in a hurried situation. So, we take the bait -- hook, line, and sinker. It’s not until later that we realize we’re caught in a tangled net of ineffective parenting.
We must remember that our goal is not merely to get children to outwardly obey, but to reach their hearts with the gospel of Christ. When we adopt faulty child-training methods that aim for behavior modification only, we miss the issues of the heart and the point of biblical discipline. Here are a few pitfalls that we must guard against:
Bribing. To bribe a child into obeying is to motivate him wrongly. Bribing encourages children in selfishness, as their motive for obeying is personal gain. Bribing sounds like, “If you clean your room you can rent a movie tonight” or “If you don’t misbehave in the grocery store, you can pick out candy at the check out counter.” Children should be taught to obey because it is right and because it pleases God, not to get a reward. The Bible says, “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord” (Colossians 3:20). We should simply state the standard and follow through with consequences when that standard is violated.
Counting to Three. As we train our children to obey us we are ultimately training them to obey Jesus. Do we want our children to obey God the first time, the second time, or the third time? When we count to three, we cause our children to get into the habit of delayed obedience. Delayed obedience is disobedience. Counting to three encourages them to put off obeying until absolutely necessary. We want our children to view obedience as their best option, not a choice that is put off until the last minute.
Threatening. This is one of my biggest struggles in parenting. I’m so tempted to say, “If you don’t do this, then these will be the consequences.” Moms, this is how we get ourselves in a pickle. If we tell them there will be a consequence then by golly there better be one. Otherwise, we might cause them to question our word. A woman of integrity says what she means and means what she says. If we cry wolf too many times, we will eventually lose our effectiveness as well as the respect of our children. Our children need to have confidence that our word is our word.
Appealing to their emotions. Parents often try to appeal to the emotions of the child by making them feel guilty. “After all I do for you, this is how you repay me,” moans the parent with a sad face. It’s easy for us to feel sorry for ourselves and think that our children “owe us” obedience. However, we want our children’s motives for obeying to come from a heart to please God not from a parent inflicted guilt trip.
Reasoning with small children. Parents should avoid trying to talk their children into obedience. Reasoning with small children erases the line of authority between the parent and the child, and places the parent in a position of being out smarted! We should avoid statements like, “Are you ready to go to bed?” and “Don’t you think you should brush your teeth?” and “Why don’t we pick up the toys before lunch?”
Asking the child if he would like to do something places him on a peer level with the parent. The parent who tries to reason with her child usually ends up frustrated, and the child usually ends up disrespecting her authority by arguing rather than obeying. Sometimes I wonder if it might be beneficial for us to play a recording of “I am the parent, I am the parent, I am the parent” over and over in order to brainwash us into acting like it!
Repeating or going back on instructions. In studying some the most of admirable and successful generals of our country, I have found that they all had one thing in common: they were certain of their commands before they issued them. Soldiers do not respect or respond well to an uncertain and inconsistent leader. Paul said it best in 1 Corinthians 14:8, “For if the trumpet makes an uncertain sound, who will prepare for battle?” (NKJ) Likewise, when Mom issues half-hearted commands to her children and doesn’t require her children to follow through immediately, she sends them mixed signals. Not only will this sort of leadership earn Mom the “most wishy-washy in command” medal, but it will also cause her children to question their own positions in the family. They will become uncertain of when and how to respond to Mom’s instructions. This can lead to insecure children who are unsure of their own actions. However, when we lead our “troops” with confidence, they find security and stability in their call to obedience.
We should never issue a warning or command without following it through. This rule of thumb requires that we think before we speak. In Matthew we are told, “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one” (Matthew 5:37). We should try not to say “yes” or “no” to something until we are sure that it is our definite answer. According to Proverbs 15:28 it is biblical that we think before speaking: “The heart of the righteous weighs its answers.” Let us weigh our answers, give confident commands, and raise up a mighty army for the Lord!
Effective Parenting
The first step toward effective parenting is to realize that biblical obedience is complete, immediate, and evinced with joy. You might teach this concept to younger children by explaining that obedience is all the way, right away, and with a joyful heart.
The second step toward effective parenting is to expect nothing less than biblical obedience. Don’t be wishy-washy or you’ll raise wishy-washy children who have a hard time determining when to and when not to submit to authority. Determine the “family rules” and establish a strong family identity in Christ by expecting your children to obey authority.
The third step toward effective parenting is to faithfully administer consequences when children disobey. When disobedience is met with consequences children learn the law of the harvest. They learn that God has built the principle of sowing and reaping into their worlds. While administering consequences is not pleasant, it’s a prerequisite for peace: “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11).
By avoiding the snares of ineffective parenting and adhering to God’s design for discipline, we move past the frustrations of not knowing how to handle issues of disobedience and into a confident, well-balanced approach to raising our children.
Monday, December 03, 2007
Ai-lee
A-e-l-y? A-i-l-l-y? A-l-e-e? "Mom, how do I spell "Ai-lee's" name?" "Mom, do you know it's her birthday tomorrow? "
"Ailee is my friend, her hair is like mine, her clothes are like mine, the only thing different is our face."
My 4 year old has lots of stories about her friend Ailee. Everyday. Ailee likes this, Ailee likes that, they played this, they played that. One day, her dad asked is she wants to play with Ailee? She told her dad that Ailee actually lives very far-far away, leading her dad towards the window showing how far Ailee actually lives. Daddy challenged her and asked, "how do you like to go to Ailee's house? "I can drive you there!" She answered, "oh no Daddy, it's far, we're going to get lost."
Several hours after (tv, play, eating)... our 4-year old came up to her Dad again and started asking him "What happens if..." questions. This time she asked, "Dad, what happens if i go to my friend's house?" Daddy said, "oh no, you dont want to go to your friend's house" "What happens then if I go to my friend's house who lives far far away?" Dad answered, "you're going to get lost" She quickly replied, "See Dad, that's why i don't want to go to Ailee's house, coz you might get LOST!"
Did I already say that our hunch is that Ailee is my 4 year-old's friend from her very creative imagination?
"Ailee is my friend, her hair is like mine, her clothes are like mine, the only thing different is our face."
My 4 year old has lots of stories about her friend Ailee. Everyday. Ailee likes this, Ailee likes that, they played this, they played that. One day, her dad asked is she wants to play with Ailee? She told her dad that Ailee actually lives very far-far away, leading her dad towards the window showing how far Ailee actually lives. Daddy challenged her and asked, "how do you like to go to Ailee's house? "I can drive you there!" She answered, "oh no Daddy, it's far, we're going to get lost."
Several hours after (tv, play, eating)... our 4-year old came up to her Dad again and started asking him "What happens if..." questions. This time she asked, "Dad, what happens if i go to my friend's house?" Daddy said, "oh no, you dont want to go to your friend's house" "What happens then if I go to my friend's house who lives far far away?" Dad answered, "you're going to get lost" She quickly replied, "See Dad, that's why i don't want to go to Ailee's house, coz you might get LOST!"
Did I already say that our hunch is that Ailee is my 4 year-old's friend from her very creative imagination?
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
First Born
A perfect example to prove my earlier blog.
My eldest daughter is 5. She started kindergarten in September. Fast forward 8 weeks, she's now in 1st grade!
Yes, my daughter got promoted to first grade after 8 weeks in kindergarten. Proud parents we are so give me the chance to just be proud.
My eldest daughter is 5. She started kindergarten in September. Fast forward 8 weeks, she's now in 1st grade!
Yes, my daughter got promoted to first grade after 8 weeks in kindergarten. Proud parents we are so give me the chance to just be proud.
My Little Big Girl
Just to let you all in, my little girl who started preschool.... it's been almost 5 months now.
Yes, she never did cry and never does when we leave her at school.
She loves going to school apparently.
Her teachers say she has a very strong personality. She knows what she wants to do, and does it.
If she doesn't like to do something, she really doesn't do it. They love that she's sociable and
loves learning a lot.
My little princess, yes, she's a big girl now.
Yes, she never did cry and never does when we leave her at school.
She loves going to school apparently.
Her teachers say she has a very strong personality. She knows what she wants to do, and does it.
If she doesn't like to do something, she really doesn't do it. They love that she's sociable and
loves learning a lot.
My little princess, yes, she's a big girl now.
Asking myself again
1. What bill do you hate paying the most? newspaper subscription, i read the news on the internet, I don't even know why we continue to subscribe to paper
2. Where's the best place to eat a romantic dinner? Napa Valley
3. Last time you puked from drinking? Too long ago to remember, but since I'm not so old yet... Subic, circa 1999
4. Have you ever gotten drunk and danced on a bar?Oh dear, no
5. Name of your first grade teacher?Mrs. Evelyn Garcia
6. What are you doing right now?You mean besides answering these questions? Relaxing and enjoying my first weekend night
7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?I wanted to be doctor, but I ended up going to Law School. Deep inside me, I really want to be a chef. No kidding!
8. How many colleges did you attend?Solid U.P.
9. Why did you get the shirt that you have on right now?Because it's comfortable and easy to match.
10. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you where would you go?Napa Valley
11. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?How minutes I can still SNOOZE.
12. Last thought before going to sleep last night?Of how much I love my family and how I can make tomorrow a better day than today
13. Favorite style of underwear?Victoria Secret Hiphugger
14. Favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex?Boxer briefs.
2. Where's the best place to eat a romantic dinner? Napa Valley
3. Last time you puked from drinking? Too long ago to remember, but since I'm not so old yet... Subic, circa 1999
4. Have you ever gotten drunk and danced on a bar?Oh dear, no
5. Name of your first grade teacher?Mrs. Evelyn Garcia
6. What are you doing right now?You mean besides answering these questions? Relaxing and enjoying my first weekend night
7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?I wanted to be doctor, but I ended up going to Law School. Deep inside me, I really want to be a chef. No kidding!
8. How many colleges did you attend?Solid U.P.
9. Why did you get the shirt that you have on right now?Because it's comfortable and easy to match.
10. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you where would you go?Napa Valley
11. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?How minutes I can still SNOOZE.
12. Last thought before going to sleep last night?Of how much I love my family and how I can make tomorrow a better day than today
13. Favorite style of underwear?Victoria Secret Hiphugger
14. Favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex?Boxer briefs.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Losing Our Moms
it's difficult losing our moms. i believe that time will pass, wounds will heal, but the sadness will always be there. it's their presence that we will miss forever and the feeling of pain will always be there. we know that they are in a happier place free of pain, but it's our pain, us who are left here that makes us cry.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
My Little Girl Goes to Preschool
My little princess finally started preschool. We decided it would be the perfect time for her, it's summer session, so they have both work and play at the same time. She'll be acclaimated slowly into the academic world and not be in-shock. She went for her first day last week, and guess what... she didn't cry! I said, ok, that's great, her sister didn't really cry on her first day. Big sister cried on her 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th days.
On her 2nd day, or should I say, supposed to be 2nd day, she got an infection on her eye, so she ended up not going to school. So, today was her second day. Let's see, I called her when she got home and she said that she had fun, she played with her "friends" but was a little "shy". I asked, "Did you cry?" she said, "No Mommy!" (with all the confidence she can muster). Oh well, my little princess, I guess, she really is getting older... she didn't cry.
Can't wait for her 3rd day.
On her 2nd day, or should I say, supposed to be 2nd day, she got an infection on her eye, so she ended up not going to school. So, today was her second day. Let's see, I called her when she got home and she said that she had fun, she played with her "friends" but was a little "shy". I asked, "Did you cry?" she said, "No Mommy!" (with all the confidence she can muster). Oh well, my little princess, I guess, she really is getting older... she didn't cry.
Can't wait for her 3rd day.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Own Lunch
There was a story of 3 men who were tired of the having the same fare for lunch each and everyday. They all said that if they got the same meal for lunch the next day, they would jump off the building they were working on. The next day, one by one they opened their lunch and each of them found the same kind of meal from yesterday. Yes, they all jumped off the building and died. During their funeral, their wives conferred and 2 of them realized that if they only knew, if their husbands only told them that they wanted a different kind of meal, the wives would have cooked differently. However, the one other spouse sobbed more, cried more, so the other 2 asked why? She replied and said, that it was her husband who actually prepared his own lunch each and everyday!
In life, "all of us prepare our own lunch." If we don't like our jobs, if we don't like the state of our relationships, if we don't like what's happening to our spiritual lives - we have no one to blame but ourselves. Because God has given us free will. He has given us the power to prepare our own lunch. If you want to earn more and be free from debt, if you're sick and tired of your bad habits, if we want to put more joy in our marriages, if we want to grow in our relationship with God - then go back to your kitchen and prepare yourself another dish. Because, you design your own future. You create your own destiny. Ask yourself what kind of future you want to have? What kind of life? What kind of eternity? You decide. YES, we can decide. BUT IT's EASIER SAID THAN DONE. No further comments.
In life, "all of us prepare our own lunch." If we don't like our jobs, if we don't like the state of our relationships, if we don't like what's happening to our spiritual lives - we have no one to blame but ourselves. Because God has given us free will. He has given us the power to prepare our own lunch. If you want to earn more and be free from debt, if you're sick and tired of your bad habits, if we want to put more joy in our marriages, if we want to grow in our relationship with God - then go back to your kitchen and prepare yourself another dish. Because, you design your own future. You create your own destiny. Ask yourself what kind of future you want to have? What kind of life? What kind of eternity? You decide. YES, we can decide. BUT IT's EASIER SAID THAN DONE. No further comments.
Why Firstborn Children Are Smarter
Read this from Dinesh D'Souza
We are in an age of self-esteem, which is why only firstborns should read this article. It reports on new research that has found that the oldest child tends to be the smartest one in the family. Years ago psychologist Frank Sulloway published a book on this politically incorrect subject, and the latest studies corroborate his research.
In a way we are surprised to find out that eldest children are brighter. After all, siblings come out of the same gene pool and we might presume that they share pretty much the same upbringing and social environment. Still, the facts are that even children close in age raised in the same household are very different in many respects. One respect is that firstborns tend to be Numero Uno when it comes to brains. As a firstborn myself, I find this reassuring.
Eldest children seem to have IQs that are, on average, three points greater than those of the next smartest sibling. For second, third and fourth-borns who will no doubt write to inform me that they happen to be the smartest in their family, the term "average" means that this is a general trend and does not apply to every situation. By way of analogy, men are taller than women and it is no refutation of this general observation to point out that Eleanor is five feet eleven inches and Fred is 4 feet six.
The interesting question is why firstborns tend to be smarter. The main reason seems to be that firstborns get their parents' undivided attention, while subsequent children have to compete for mom and dad's time. This fact also has psychological consequences: firstborns tend to be conservative and believe in the system. Second and third children are typically more rebellious and also in some ways more creative. So when you run into guys like Michael Moore--creative but not very smart--ask if they are second, third or fourth in their family.
The new research also shows that when there are younger children in the house, the intellectual level gets "dumbed down" and therefore firstborns who share the home with other children are slightly less intelligent than firstborns who are only children. Asked what society should do about these findings, Sulloway answers, "Nothing." I agree. We firstborns tend to come out ahead and we'd like to keep it that way.
Thanks for the information Dinesh, it's reassuring, you're right. Obviously, I'm a firstborn too.
We are in an age of self-esteem, which is why only firstborns should read this article. It reports on new research that has found that the oldest child tends to be the smartest one in the family. Years ago psychologist Frank Sulloway published a book on this politically incorrect subject, and the latest studies corroborate his research.
In a way we are surprised to find out that eldest children are brighter. After all, siblings come out of the same gene pool and we might presume that they share pretty much the same upbringing and social environment. Still, the facts are that even children close in age raised in the same household are very different in many respects. One respect is that firstborns tend to be Numero Uno when it comes to brains. As a firstborn myself, I find this reassuring.
Eldest children seem to have IQs that are, on average, three points greater than those of the next smartest sibling. For second, third and fourth-borns who will no doubt write to inform me that they happen to be the smartest in their family, the term "average" means that this is a general trend and does not apply to every situation. By way of analogy, men are taller than women and it is no refutation of this general observation to point out that Eleanor is five feet eleven inches and Fred is 4 feet six.
The interesting question is why firstborns tend to be smarter. The main reason seems to be that firstborns get their parents' undivided attention, while subsequent children have to compete for mom and dad's time. This fact also has psychological consequences: firstborns tend to be conservative and believe in the system. Second and third children are typically more rebellious and also in some ways more creative. So when you run into guys like Michael Moore--creative but not very smart--ask if they are second, third or fourth in their family.
The new research also shows that when there are younger children in the house, the intellectual level gets "dumbed down" and therefore firstborns who share the home with other children are slightly less intelligent than firstborns who are only children. Asked what society should do about these findings, Sulloway answers, "Nothing." I agree. We firstborns tend to come out ahead and we'd like to keep it that way.
Thanks for the information Dinesh, it's reassuring, you're right. Obviously, I'm a firstborn too.
Relationships vs Achievements
Made me think though... I have a wonderful husband, 2 lovely kids, a loving family all-together, reliable and time-tested friends, I guess I've done a lot on people relationships. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't mind if I concentrated on achievements now.
Maybe, that would help me get to the "SELF" I've been trying to make "whole".
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